New Addiction
by Sueona
Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes: Here is a new fic from me. I hope you enjoy it. It will be filled with smex, making out, smut. Hope you like it. Please review/comment.

Chapter One:

In a huge bedroom, L's slim fingers move across the keyboard, pulling information up. There is no time for him to sleep while Kira is still free. Of course, he refuses to see anyone else but Raito being Kira. Taking his eyes off of the scene, he looks over to find chocolate eyes glaring at him. Tilting his head to the side, he raises his thumb to his mouth. After a few minutes of staring at each other, Raito finally turns his head and L smirks for winning a small victory. Pulling his thumb away from his mouth, he speaks, "Is there something wrong, Yagami-kun?"

"Your typing is keeping me awake, L-san." Raito spits out.

Leaning over the teenager's body to see Raito's eyes clearly, L stares down at the younger man. He knows the other was lying through his teeth but he isn't sure why. Every other night, Raito could sleep through his typing and muttering to himself. What is different about tonight?

Lying on his back, Raito looks up at the detective. Feeling the weight over his body even more, he snaps, "Get off, L!" All he wants is L to move and go back to whatever the man does at night.

"Why?"

"You're in my personal space."

Losing his balance, L falls on top of Raito, putting his entire weight on the teenager. When he hears a small gasp, his huge eyes look up and his lips turn up into a smirk. There is no way to hide something like he is feeling against his stomach. Without thinking on the situation, L leans up and kisses those perfect lips. Gaining no response from the younger male, he thrust downward to gain a loud gasp coming from Raito, which lets his wet muscle inside the other's mouth. Exploring the entire mouth, he finds he has gained a new addiction.

Breaking the kiss by pulling his head back, Raito glares even more at the man on top of him. He wants to scream out how wrong this is, but his body is telling him he enjoys every moment of it. Wasn't it just a few minutes ago that he dreamt of having sex with L? There is something dangerous about being intimate with the greatest detective alive. Feeling a cold hand run up his shirt, he snaps out of all his thoughts and mumbles, "No."

Pulling away from the younger man, L gives a lust-filled look but pulls his hand away from Raito's body. As much as he was enjoying the feel of smooth skin against his own, he refuses to turn into a criminal by forcing himself onto Raito. If he didn't, that would have been the greatest crime ever. No one has the right to force themselves onto another. No one has to suffer that fate including Kira.

While blinking his eyes, Raito asks, "Why did you stop?"

"Yagami-kun told me no."

Something inside of him tries to figure out why that word came out of his mouth. How long has he been hiding his growing desire to be with the older male? Turning his head away in embarrassment, Raito states, "I didn't mean it." Even saying those words, his mind tells him to stop it.

Chuckling loudly, L rolls off the teenager. He finally figured out why the other said no right away. It is simple if he put himself in Raito's place. They really are the same. When he gains a look 'why are you laughing', he answers the unspoken question, "Raito-kun hates to be dominated by anyone. It is the same way for me." Before another question can be asked, he pulls Raito near him, closing his lips around the other's lips. The kiss is far from gentle. It is rough and showing off who will be dominant. His hands works on Raito's shirt, unbuttoning each button to gain tan skin.

Raito moves his hands and slide his fingers into messy black locks. Everything is happening too fast but he throws away every thought. Right now, he is gaining his darkest desire; having L. As pale hands slide up his chest, he playfully bites L's lower lip. Only their harsh breathing can be heard. When he is pushed onto the bed, he stares up at the older man. Hearing the clicking of the chain connecting them together, he rasps, "The chain. It'll get… get in the way."

L freezes and ponders for a few moments. He refuses to let his suspect flee from him. Then again, he really doubts Raito would run while they are being intimate. Pulling out the key from his jeans pocket, he unchains his wrist. Instead of unchaining Raito, he pulls Raito's wrists to the headboard.

When he hears the click on the cuff around his other wrist, Raito glances upwards and says one word, "Pervert." No words come from the older man, but pale cold hands run across his naked chest, sending shivers racing up his back.

Leaning back, L teases, "So hot already." Before an out rage could happen from the younger man, he runs his hand down to Raito's pants and squeezes Raito's cock.

Buckling his hips, Raito bites his lip to stop the moan from escaping. There is no way he will show the other man that he is enjoying what they are doing. When cold air hits his skin, he jumps and looks down between his legs. All that leaves his mouth is a breathless groan. In between his legs is L's head. Feeling wetness run up his thigh, he lets go of everything. Gripping the chains above his head, he groans, "L."

Every little moan and groan L gains from his suspect drives a new rush of lust within his system. No one has ever brought him to this state before. Moving up tan thighs, he nips and licks creating more pleasure to the one below him. When he gets up to Raito's red cock, his lips become dry and he licks them. A juicy treat is right before his eyes and he leans forward to taste the new treat. As his tongue runs along the shaft, he hears music to his ears.

Pushing upward, trying to get L to understand what he truly desires, Raito tries his hardest to keep his eyes open to watch the sight between his legs. Part of him wants to kick the detective but the other part wants more what L can give him. When his length is taken into the wet warmth, he screams while his hips buckle, "L!"

Swallowing every drop, L pulls back and stares down at a flush Raito. As his lips turn up into a small smug smirk, he mumbles, "So soon."

Trying to kick the detective, Raito replies hoarsely, "I… I haven't done anything in months."

Grabbing the swinging legs, pushing them down onto the bed, L leans over the teenager's body and whispers in a smug voice, "Or maybe I am just that good."

"You wish." Raito retorts with narrowed eyes.

Thrusting downwards to share his problem, L states, "We are not done, Raito-chan." The look of pure hatred adores the teenager's face which makes him even hotter for his rival. Pulling back, looking around, he steps off Raito and moves away from the bed.

Watching L move to the bathroom, Raito pulls at the chains and yells, "Do not leave me like this."

Tilting his head backwards, L states, "I doubt Raito-chan would want me to take him dry."

"Who the hell said that you were going to be top?" Raito screams back.

"I did since Raito-chan is tied down and unable to top." L replies with no emotions adoring his voice. Moving inside the bathroom, he shoves bottles away, looking for some lotion to help prepare the younger man for him. Finally finding lotion, he walks back into the room to find Raito on his stomach and fighting against the chairs. Staring at Raito's behind, he remarks, "Well I am sure that position would be easier."

Stopping his struggle against the chains, Raito glances back at the detective who waves a bottle of lotion at him. As his mind ponders over the situation, he sighs, "I get top tomorrow night."

"And if I don't agree?" L asks.

"Then I will scream bloody murder until someone comes and I can have you arrested." Raito replies with a smug look.

"Up ten percent." L responds while climbing back on the bed. Before his counter-partner can say a word, he runs his tongue up Raito's spine.

Goosebumps run over his entire body and heat comes back. Feeling L over him, Raito turns his head and captures L's lips into a heated kiss. It something about being chained up to a bed that turns him on. Feeling cold wet fingers enter him, he hisses to feel them stretch his inner muscles.

Feeling the heat engulf his fingers, L moans right back Raito's ear. It makes him want to be inside the younger male now. But he knows that would push Raito's limit. Pumping his fingers in and out, he notices tan hips buckle back to gain even more. Unable to control himself, he pulls his zipper down.

When he feels something hard replacing fingers, Raito throws his head back and groans lowly. The older man doesn't even ask if he is ready. All he feels is great pain in his lower back, but he moans for more. Some pain never killed anyone and he wants more of L inside of him. It is heaven and hell at the same time. Bowing his head, he whispers, "Move."

Tightness all around his cock drives L mad with lust, but he tries to remain still for Raito's sake. When that word leaves Raito's mouth, the detective loses all control. Pulling out almost all the way, he slams right back inside the tight heat. Panting, moaning, and groaning lowly, he makes a pace to fit them both.

Pushing back to meet L's thrusts, Raito hisses, "Faster." He gets his wish when L picks up the pace. Pulling at the chains, he wants his need touched to send him into paradise. Like reading his mind, L touches his cock, driving him into pure lust. Pushing his hips down into the hand and pushing back to meet L's hard cock, he moans, "L. L. L."

L knows he won't last much longer. So, he quickens his pace, hitting the teenager's sweet spot every time. While heavy breathing sounds out, slapping of skin to skin echoes inside the room. Stroking Raito's length, he orders breathless, "Cum for me."

Unable to hold out any longer, Raito moans loudly, "LLLLLLL…."

Feeling the muscles tighten even more around his cock, L bites down on Raito's shoulder while he cums inside the teenager.

When weight falls on top of him, Raito collapses onto his stomach. After a few minutes of them calming down from their high, he sneers, "Get off. You might look light, but you are far it."

Pulling out of Raito to hear a small hiss, L unchains the teenager. Noting the bruising around both of Raito's wrists, he sighs, "Well that will show."

Unknown to either of the young men, Mogi leans against the wall outside and curses for going to their room at night to inform them about Kira's new killings. Shaking his head, walking away, he mumbles to himself, "I'm going to send Matsuda next time."

The next day, Raito sits oddly on his seat which gains a few strange looks. Mogi blushes at him and L while Matsuda fusses over him. Aizawa ignores him and his father stares with concern in his eyes. Unable to keep up everything is fine, he lies, "I fell last night. I'm fine. Ryuuzaki made sure of that." Everyone goes back to work and he does the same to only be interrupted by an email. Clicking on his email, he reads it to himself.

'**I believe I caused the problem of you unable to sit in your seat.' **

**L**

With a smirk adoring his face, Raito replies with his own message. When he hears a chocking sound next to him, he chuckles softly.

'**And tonight, I'll show you how it feels to be sore, L-san.' **

**Raito**

Notes: Please tell me what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes:

Chapter Two:

Tonight is going to be something different and L isn't sure if he will enjoy it or not. As his eyes glance side ways, he bites his thumb in deep thought. Maybe he would have fun with Raito for a while tonight before the other gains dominance over him. Tilting his head back, staring up at the ceiling, not working on the investigation, he finally makes up his mind. If Raito wants to dominant him, the other man will have to earn it.

"Ryuuzaki, is everything all right?" Yagami asks in concern for their leader zoning out on them. Everyone turns to look at L except his son. When silence greets him, he asks his son, "Raito, do you know what is wrong with Ryuuzaki?"

Without looking up from the information on the computer, Raito shrugs and mumbles annoyed from being interrupted, "Maybe he is trying to figure out how wrong he is about me being Kira."

"Yagami-kun is smarter than that." L remarks. "He would realize I would never give up that theory."

Throwing a plastic cup at L's head and hitting the detective, Raito growls, "Shut up with your theories!"

Staring at the two geniuses, Yagami looks at his men and gives them a questionable look. He has never seen them fight like this. Well at least his son has never thrown a hissy fit as he is doing right now.

"Go screw yourself!" Raito screams.

Glancing over quickly, Mogi blushes and is ready to say something. Of course he keeps his mouth shut about what he heard last night.

Yagami scolds, "Raito. That is not something to say."

"I would but I rather have someone do that for me." L responds to Raito's comment. Matsuda drops the papers he had in his hand while Aizawa stares in shock at him. Mogi continues to blush while Yagami coughs to hide his discomfort. Raito looks like a fish with his mouth opening and closing.

After a few minutes of silence, Raito asks, "Did you just make a joke?" When the others give chuckles, he sighs in relief that none of them figured out they were together in that way. Without letting the older man beside him make a remark, he turns to work more on the Kira Case. As his fingers run across the keyboard quickly, he groans under his breathe in pain. How could anyone stand having sex if this is the end result?

Walking into the room with a soft cushion in his hand, Watari walks over to L confused by L's request of having it. When a pale finger points toward Raito's way, he blinks his eyes at his ward but doesn't say anything. Tapping the young Yagami on his shoulder, he leans down and whispers, "Ryuuzaki wanted me to get you this. I believe it was for your sore back. It should help a little."

Taking the pillow and putting it behind his body, Raito leans back and sighs in relief. Glancing at L, he mouths out, "Thank you."

Waving the thanks off, L turns back to his work and begins anew on the information. But each second, his mind goes back to what happened last night and he becomes aware of a problem between his legs. Unable to focus on work, he turns his head to look at the others and replies, "I decided after much consideration that everyone deserves a break and can leave early."

Yagami responds with a question, "Are you sure we can take a break while Kira is still running loose?"

Nodding his head, L replies, "We will not be at our best if we do not take a break." He waves his hands to get the others members to leave. Matsuda is the first to run out the door happy they got the day off. Aizawa and Mogi left soon after. Yagami says his farewells and leaves with Watari following behind him. Leaning back in his chair, he mumbles, "I thought they would never leave."

Moving from his comfortable chair, Raito stands up and walks in front of L. As he stares at the older man, he asks, "Did you want to start the night during the day that badly?"

"You look uncomfortable." L responds. Without letting the young man reply, he pulls Raito toward him, sealing their lips together.

Figuring out what the detective is trying to do, Raito dominates the kiss quickly. As his tongue runs along white teeth, he captures a small moan escaping L's mouth. He explores every part inside L's mouth. The other man taste so sweet but not a sickly sweet which he can't stand. It is a perfect taste. He hisses into the kiss, breaking the heat between them. As he glares at L, he states breathless, "That hurt."

"Hush. You will feel better soon." L tells the teenager while he continues to rub Raito's lower back. Raito gives a small groan, weather it was in pain or pleasure he couldn't tell. Leaning up, capturing those taunting lips once again, he growls, "If you want top, you got to earn it."

Pushing L back against the chair, Raito fights for dominance in the heated kiss. It's a battle to win for position. As pale fingers run along the back of his neck, his body buckles forward, gaining a sweet friction between them. Both of them moan in pleasure. Running his hand under the white T-shirt, he feels the pale smooth skin against his own. Moving his hand up, he toys with L's nipples gaining a pleasurable moans from the detective. It turns him on even more to know he can create such sounds coming from L. No one has ever brought this side of him out. It is a pleasant feeling but somewhere inside his mind keeps telling him this is too dangerous.

When his shirt is pulled over his head and it getting caught on the chain, L stares into the eyes of the man who could be his greatest enemy. What they are doing is dangerous for both of them, feelings could interfere with what their plans against the other, but he could care less at the moment. No one has brought him to a state of no return and he enjoys every second of it. When lips meet his again, he buckles his hips to gain the sweet friction once again.

Standing at the door, frozen in place, Aizawa blushes and quickly grabs his forgotten cell phone. He walks out the room quickly, shaking his head to try to get the image of L and Raito together out of his head. When he gets to the elevator, he mumbles, "I'm hanging around Matsuda too much for me forgetting things and going back there. It should have been Matsuda to see that."

Back in the room, L's chair falls over from the two prideful men trying to gain an upper hand against the other. As L falls on his back, he breaths heavily and remarks, "Raito-kun still has yet to earn his dominance." When hips thrust down onto his sensitive spot, he yells out in English, "**Fuck**."

Grinning from ear to ear for making the detective lose composure, Raito leans down and begins to kiss behind the detective's ear. Hearing L's breathe hitch, he takes the ear lope between his teeth, teasing L even more. His hips continue to move against the detective's creating a pressure within both of them. When he hears the chain click against the hard floor, he leans up and demands, "Take the chain off."

Glancing to the chain, L shakes his head to answer. As Raito glares at him, he flips them over and leans over the younger man with his own smirk. Grabbing the wrists and pushing them on to the floor, he remarks, "Truly Raito wants top." Holding the wrists in one hand, he slides his hand down the clothe body. Pushing the shirt up with one hand, he looks straight into hazed eyes of the man who has become something like a lover, a new addiction that he can't break. As he stops everything, he states, "I will release the chain on one condition."

Breathless, Raito asks, "What?"

"Raito lays still and does not move an inch." L answers. The teenager nods his head in consent. It will be very amusing to watch what kind expression Raito will have when he shows the other what he truly plans for their fun. Unchaining them both, throwing it sideways to hear a loud echo from it, he undresses himself in front of Raito, loving the hitch in Raito's breath. Climbing over the clothe teenager, he leans toward Raito's ear and whispers, "How much do you want to be inside of my tight heat?"

His breathing becomes erratic while his hand twitched, dying to touch the naked body on top of him. When he feels wetness run across his neck, Raito growls, "Badly." His clothes are torn away from his body quickly. Lying naked with L over his body, he wants to touch every part of that pale smooth skin, marking it his. Closing his eyes in bliss as he feels L's body rubbing against his own, he curls his hands into fists, stopping himself from moving and grabbing the older man.

Grabbing Raito's hands, L pushes them above the younger man's head. When Raito's eyes snap open, he position himself over Raito's hard cock. Watching those beautiful eyes light up in fire, he slowly lowers himself, letting Raito feel what no one has ever. His mind keeps fighting his desire of doing this act, but he gave his silent promise. Besides, a person only lives once. When the thick hard cock is deep inside of him, he moves a little to get comfortable. It feels very different, but it isn't an unpleasant feeling at all.

As his head hits against the cold floor, Raito demands, "Let me touch you." His hands are released and his first act is grabbing a hold of the detective, touching everywhere he can get to. Lips meet his again and he returns the fever. Sweat pours down his body, making him even hotter. Keeping his eyes open to watch L pull up and push right down, he meets the detective by thrusting upwards. Grabbing a hold of L's length, he strokes it to gain more moans, gasps, and groans from L. It is music to his ears to know he is the cause of L losing all sense of himself.

Biting Raito's lower lip, L gains access inside the warm wet mouth, kissing the daylights out of Raito, wanting to keep his voice down. As his toes curl, he knows he won't last much longer. Throwing his head back, arching his back backwards, seeing white spots before his dark eyes, he moans, "Raitooooooooo…"

Flipping the detective over, Raito continues to thrust inside the tightness, trying to gain his own sweet release. After a few more thrusts, he moans, "L!" Collapsing on top of the detective, feeling hands rub against his back, he realizes that he marked the older man his own. It is a strange feeling knowing that his heart is telling him that L belongs to him like a piece of property. As he pulls out after catching his breath, he lays beside the detective, staring at L's chest moving up and down. Finally the silence makes him speak, "Are you hurt? There was no preparation."

Turning his head sideways, L chuckles softly and responds, "I prepared myself while I was rubbing against your body." The shock look on Raito's face is enough to make him smile in bliss. Closing his eyes, he states, "You will never be top, Raito."

As a frown adores his face, Raito asks insulted, "Was I not good?"

Without opening his eyes, L answers, "Oh Raito was wonderful and set me into paradise, but I allow it. I took control and Raito was still without it."

Glaring at the detective, Raito vows, "I'll get control over you one of these days, just watch L."

As his eyes open, L looks at Raito with a grin adoring his face and replies, "I will enjoy this new game between us instead of our old game." When he gains a confused look, he shakes his head. Sitting up, without a word, he sorts through his clothes and Raito's. Giving Raito's his clothes, he begins to dress. Even if he is addicted to Raito, he knows full well it might just end his life.

Standing up dressed, Raito feels the chain click over his wrist and responds, "Back to the Kira Case." L nods his head at him and he swears, "We will catch Kira together and when I prove my innocence to you, then I get full control."

With a smile, L replies, "Sounds like a good plan."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes: Thanks for comments for the first two chapters. This chapter has some funny moments. Hope you enjoy and please tell me what you think.

Chapter Three:

It is a game played dangerously. The deal was if Kira wasn't Raito, then he could have totally control over him. Glancing over at the teenager, who believes his innocence, L can't help but feel bad. He would say the other was innocent but it would be a lie. Then again, when haven't he lied? Turning to look at the others in the room, he wants to chuckle. All morning long he has been getting odd looks from Matsuda and Yagami while Mogi and Aizawa keep blushing. He has been asked if he is all right since he has been walking funny all day long. Well, he knows how Raito felt. Sex is great but the next day is a bitch.

Grinning, Raito points out, "You haven't been doing well today, Ryuuzaki."

Looking over at Raito, L mumbles, "I wonder why, Raito-kun." He gives a small smile back at the teenager. Yes, he is playing a dangerous game, one that could cost him big time. When he hears a loud scream, he flinches, knowing it is none other than Misa. Right on cue, Misa runs into the room and jumps on Raito. Some part of him wants to slap the stupid girl for attaching herself to Raito.

Misa yells excited, "Misa missed her Raito."

Pulling away from the annoying girl, Raito smiles sweetly at her but inside he wants to shake her until she figures out he doesn't care about her. As Aizawa pushes her out the door, he sighs gratefully.

Stepping forward, Yagami sighs and rubs his hand his hair. It is good as ever. He has to have this talk with his son now with Misa being close to him. Taking another step, gaining his son's attention, he begins, "As your father, it's my responsible to discuss certain things with you."

Raito hides his face and groans, already knowing what kind of talk they will be having in two seconds. He doesn't want this talk in front of others.

"You see son there comes a time in every young man's life where certain changes occur in your body…" Yagami begins to say.

"Dad, I studied this in school already." Raito cuts off the rest of Yagami's words, trying to get out of the talk.

Without even hearing his son's words, Yagami continues, "When a man and a woman…"

L asks curious, "What about a man and a man?" Aizawa and Mogi choke on their drinks while Matsuda giggles.

Turning to look at the detective, Yagami firmly states, "You stay out of this." That gets L to close his mouth with a small smile. Raising his eyebrow, but ignoring L, he continues all over again, "When a man and a woman…"

This time Raito had enough and states, "Dad. I have been with someone already. You are too late with this discussion."

Sighing in relief, Yagami responds, "Oh well. Your mother wanted me to have this talk. You know about protection right?" When he gains a nod, he continues with his words, "You used protection right? You are too young to be a father."

Aizawa mumbles, "Well, he doesn't have to worry about that." Mogi looks at him in understanding while Matsuda giggles again. Looking over at the one who always is an idiot, he asks in a quiet voice, "Did you walk in on them too?"

Shaking his head, Matsuda mumbles back, "It is hard to miss it. Really now, they stare at each other all day long and with those bedroom eyes. It was going to happen sooner or later."

Raito speaks up, "Dad, don't worry, I try to cover my ass." He smiles sweetly at his father and turns to L smirking. Oh yes, they will be more affairs with his so-called boss. It is more interesting now that the case is at a dead end.

Spinning his chair around and around, L states, "I still want to know about a man and a man." Matsuda falls over laughing while Mogi and Aizawa hide their faces. He smirks inside knowing two of the members have caught him in the act. It wasn't that hard to figure out since they have been giving odd looks and blushing at them.

Glaring at the older man, Raito pulls at the chain to hear a small hiss and growls, "Stop doing that and shut up." There is no way he could live it down if everyone knew. Glancing backwards, he groans in embarrassment. It would seem his affair with L is known at least by most of the others.

Later that night, everyone heads out, going to their homes. L finds it interesting to find Raito groaning after the entire day. Moving his chair beside the teenager, he whispers, "I know a way to make Raito forget today's events."

Turning his head, Raito growls, "Bastard, you knew."

"I have no idea what Raito is talking about." L replies as innocently as possible. Of course, it doesn't work against the younger man, but it is fun to get the other riled up. When lips crash against his, his thoughts run wild. Fighting against the wet muscle in his mouth, he hears a soft moan. Climbing onto Raito's chair, he pulls Raito's shirt out of his pants, leaving a trail of soft feathery touches up the tan skin.

Arching up to the detective, Raito loses control. When the kiss is broken, he feels hands pull at the buttons of his shirt. Breathing heavy, he stutters, "Not… here… here. Bedroom." Some part of his brain is still working. There is no way he will let anyone else see him in this position.

As his lips find Raito's neck, L mumbles against Raito's skin, "No one is going to walk in on us." Like he thought, Raito pulls his shirt over his head, touching his skin, making him give off pleasurable sounds. When he can't take anymore, he kisses Raito, pushing the shirt to the side, to gain more skin.

The chair is unable to stand their weight and they fall to the ground, still fighting for control. Raito doesn't mind who has the control since either way he gets pleasure. As a pale hand slides down his pants, his hips buckle up, breaking the kiss, moaning at the feeling.

By the elevator, Yagami remembers he forgot his car keys, sighing out loud. He turns around to run into Watari. With a kind smile, he explains, "I'm forgetting like Matsuda. My car keys are in the main room."

Returning the kind smile, Watari retorts, "I was just heading there to see if Ryuuzaki would like any night time snack." He follows Yagami down the hall. When they walk in, he stares wide eyes at the scene, his ward on top of the young Yagami and they are doing more than fighting.

Standing there stunned, Yagami speaks, "Your mother never told me what to say in a situation like this."

Pushing L off of him, Raito blushes beat red and stares at the two men who are staring at them. He opens his mouth to explain to only close it. There is no way to say they were fighting when they were lip locked moments ago.

As he stands by Yagami, Watari sternly states to L, "Young man we will be having a talk."

Hiding behind Raito, L mutters, "Oh help me."

Notes: Please tell me what you think. 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX, angst.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes: Thanks for the comments/reviews for this story. I hope you enjoy this part. Some angst in it.

Chapter Four:

After straighten up, L sits in his usually position, biting his thumb while watching Watari pace back and forth. Their talk will not end well. He knows that his caretaker only worries for his wellbeing, but he can't let go of Raito. Why can't he cut the addiction off? It is dangerous being near his main suspect, the one he is positive that is Kira. As he glances upwards, ignoring Yagami throwing a fit about them being together, he ponders over what is going on with him.

"This is WRONG!" Yagami shouts.

Stopping in mid-step, Watari sighs, "L." When he gains his ward's attention, he continues, "Yagami-kun is your suspect. You believe he is a mass-murderer. Please tell me what are you thinking of having this relationship."

Standing up in anger, Raito yells, "How the hell is this anyone else's business!? This concerns us not anyone else." He is tired of hearing both Yagami and Watari preach to them how wrong it is. Yes, it is wrong and he knows that but he doesn't want to stop. Something inside tells him that he wants the relationship more than anything. Besides, he isn't Kira. There is no problem having a relationship with L. Still, there is a part of him trying to speak to him that he should hate the detective.

As he looks at his main suspect, L stands up and mumbles around his thumb, "I agree with Yagami-kun. This is our business."

Finally overcoming the shock, Yagami stands firmly and states, "Raito, if you continue this, do not plan to return home ever." It is a lie but he wants his son away from L. If threatening his son is the only way, then he will do it.

Shocked by his father words Raito stares at him like he lost his mind. To stay with L, he has to forfeit his family. Sitting down, he whispers, "I guess I won't be returning then." L turns to stare at him and Watari looks shocked by his words. His father shows a firm expression and walks out the door. What did he just do? Hiding his face away from the man who could read him well, he curses himself for letting what happened between him and L effect his emotions so easily.

Not moving an inch, L looks at Raito and then looks at his caretaker. He never met to bring this to the young man. He knows how it feels to wake up one morning to have no family to turn to. Hiding his pain behind a mask, he states, "Yagami-kun always has a place with me."

As his head snaps up to stare shocked at L, Raito gives a true smile. It might not be perfect but it is better than nothing. Besides, it would show him detective work. After calming down, he responds, "Thank you."

Looking between the two young men, Watari smiles gently and sighs, "I guess I cannot stop this relationship. I will not try again." With those words, he leaves the room in deep thought. He worries for both of them even if his loyalty is with L. Their relationship could end badly if Raito really does turn out to be Kira.

Later that night, Raito lays in the bed, thinking over what he lost but what he gained. Could it mean L trusts him? That is doubtful even to him. Glancing to find L scanning over reports on his laptop, he asks, "Why did you offer me a place to stay when you think I'm Kira?" That question has been bothering him since L offered him a place to stay.

Stopping in typing, L glances upwards while rubbing his thumb across his lower lip. After a few minutes of weighing the cons and pros of telling his suspect something that no one knows except Watari, he answers, "I know what it feels like to be tossed aside like nothing."

His honey eyes widen to hear such words coming from the older man. He didn't expect L to answer him at all. Sitting up in the bed, he whispers, "It must have been lonely." When the other man turns to look at him, Raito doesn't what comes over him but he doesn't like to see some kind of pain in those deep soulless eyes. In fact, he hates to see such emotions running wild in those deep dark eyes. Leaning forward, he kisses L, softly and gently. His mind keeps reminding him this is dangerous and he could end up hurt. But his heart keeps saying that this is what he has been looking for. When he lands on his back, the kiss becomes more passionate and heated.

Breaking the kiss, L mutters breathless, "You must be lonely too. No one understands you." Without letting the other speak again, he kisses those lips that keep calling out to him. He wants what he can't have. Yes, he knows this relationship will be the downfall of one of them. Their viewpoints on justice are too different to end well. The battle between L and Kira will end one of their lives.

Fighting for control, Raito flips them over and looks down at the man who still has a painful look. It reminds him of his own reflection everyday. Why does L look so lost? Moving his lips across L's chin down to his neck to his ear, he whispers, "You are the only one who understands me. I need you, L." Are his words true or are they just words to make the detective stop looking so sad?

As his hands run under Raito's shirt, L doesn't say a word. What could he say? There is nothing he could say because he doesn't believe one single word coming from his suspect. Even if it true, he isn't sure if he is willing to risk being hurt by another to let them pierce through his heart. The relationship is nothing more than an addiction to him. He refuses to let it cloud his judgment. Feeling a sharp bite around his pulse, he moans and buckles his hips. The younger man is going to slow. Flipping Raito over, he breathes, "You are going to slow."

With a smirk adoring his face, Raito mumbles, "Then show me how it is done, L." He ignores the fact that L never responded back to his declaration. Feeling cold air hit against his chest, he whimpers feeling L's pale fingers pinching his nipples until they are hard.

When Raito arches up to him, L runs his tongue over Raito's skin up to his ear and whispers, "You are so sweet, Raito." Running his hands down the tan well-tone chest to Raito's hips, he groans in bliss to have this man beneath him.

Squirming around, Raito demands, "Get on with it."

Smirking down at the teenager, L proclaims without thinking, "You are mine. Mine to do with as I please. Mine." Before the other can say anything, he kisses those sweet lips, intoxicating him to no return.

When oxygen is needed, Raito breaks the kiss, arching his back up to feel the older man's need against his thigh. What they are doing is heaven but also hell. It hurts but also pleasing. None of it makes sense to his clouded mind. When L pulls his pants off roughly, he moans in pleasure and pain. Feeling the cold air hit his sensation spot, he whimpers. Opening his eyes to be sucked into those soulless dark eyes, he finds L naked and his warmth engulfing him, driving him to the breaking point. Leaning up, he seals those taunting lips into a rough kiss, biting with teeth and battling L's tongue.

Rubbing against the body below him, L hears the small sounds around them; the chain rattling between them, the moans coming from both of them, and the breathless Raito calling his name. Pulling back from Raito, he watches amazed as Raito spreads his legs wider apart. A groan leaves his mouth to be given this site. Taking every part of the younger man, he reaches to the table and grabs the lube.

Feeling a finger circle around his opening, Raito growls, "Do it already!" He has no patience now. Right now, he wants to forget everything; the case and his father. He wants it to be in the back of his mind, letting him live for a little while without figuring out what is right for everyone else. Thrusting his hips down to gain more of L's long fingers inside of him, he tosses and turns his head as the pleasure building inside of him.

After preparing the teenager for something larger, L removes his fingers and rubs lube on his length, moaning at feeling his hand against his sensation spot. Pulling long tan legs over his shoulder, he teases the other by putting his cock right near Raito's opening.

Thrusting forward only to be teased more, Raito screams, "FUCK ME ALREADY!" Like he wants, L thrusts inside of him making him lose his breathe by the burning pain racing through his back. As he relaxes, he groans fulfilled. Meeting L thrusts, he finds himself screaming and panting. His words aren't making sense. Tossing his head back, he feels in heaven and hell. It hurts but also pleases him. When a hand wraps around his cock, he moans even more, making his voice hoarse.

Hearing the sweet moans coming from Raito makes L want even more. Thrusting deep inside the tight warmth, L kisses along Raito's neck. Biting, nipping, and sucking anywhere he can, he whispers, "Cum for me."

Those soft-spoken words send Raito into bliss. As he rides out his orgasm, he feels L reach his peek. Falling against the bed, wet, warm, and sticky, he mumbles, "God."

Pulling out of the younger man, L falls beside Raito thinking that is the right word of what he is feeling. Turning to look at the other, he finds the other fast asleep. As he pushes damp brown hair away from the peaceful youth, he sighs sadly, "Too bad we could not be more. Too bad you really are Kira."

In his sleep, Raito groans, "L, I lo…"

Notes: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please tell me what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX, angst.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes: Thanks for all the comments/reviews for this story. This chapter will be a little fast paced. I hope you enjoy it and please tell me what you think.

Chapter Five:

Late at night, sitting on the edge of the bed, Raito replays what happened earlier in the day. About the theory that he was once Kira, and whether he gave up the power to kill himself or a higher power doing it. Of course, he said it was him who gave up the power. What if L is right? Would he truly kill off criminals? Did he really believe it would make the world a better place? As he looks back, finding L sitting and typing on the laptop, he asks, "Do you really believe I could be Kira?"

Raising his arm and jiggling the chain that connects them together, L answers simply, "Yes." He looks up from the laptop to stare into honey eyes. They try so hard to convince him that he is wrong. No matter what is said, he knows he is right. Sadly, one of them will pay a heavy price for their justice. Glancing back at his computer, he goes off topic, "Yagami-kun should get some rest."

"I'm not Kira." Raito repeats again. He isn't sure if he is trying to convince L or himself anymore. What would happen if L does gain proof of him being Kira? Staring at the emotionless detective, he knows his answer. He would be sent to jail or worse to his death. Lying down, ignoring the typing, he sighs, "I know I'm innocent and I'll prove it when we catch the real Kira." With that said, he closes his eyes. Tomorrow will be a new day and once they catch Higuchi, he will prove his innocence.

Leaning over his suspect, watching the other breath deeply, L brushes a stain of brown hair to the side. It hurts to know the other will return to being his nemesis. This addiction has finally caught up to him. It is more than just wanting the other; he now needs the younger man in his life. When he looks down once again, he is shocked to find honey eyes staring back at him. Their time is short and he wants to make the most of it. Leaning down, he kisses those teasing lips, gaining a response quickly.

Breaking the gentle kiss, Raito whispers, "Before we leave to catch Higuchi, I'm telling Misa." Silence greets him and he wonders if he did the right thing by telling L. When his feels hand slide under his shirt, he asks breathless, "What do you think?" For some reason, he wants reassurance for telling Misa.

Kissing the side of Raito's lip, L mumbles, "Whatever you wish to do is fine with me." He sees the look of wanting someone to understand. Oh, he understands much more than Raito believes. But right now he wants to forget the investigating. When arms wrap around his neck, he thinks, "My downfall will be here soon. I wonder if you will mourn my death, Kira-kun."

Pushing L off of him, Raito climbs on top of the older man, pleading with the other to believe him as he speaks, "I love you."

Caressing Raito's face, L retorts, "Raito-kun should not lie about those things." When lips crash against his, he prays for those words to be true until the end. Never in his life did he have someone say they loved him. When his shirt is pulled over his head, staying on the chain, he breathes, "You can never have control over me, Raito."

"I don't want control. I want you." Raito mutters, hoping the detective will at least believe his words. But he can see the doubt within dark eyes. He knows that L doesn't believe a word he is saying. Why couldn't he forget his emotions and let things be just an addiction? Why did he have to fall for an emotionless man?

Flipping the other man over, L unbuttons Raito's shirt, all the while running his fingers over every curve, memorizing it to memory. This will be their last time to enjoy each other's company. Tonight will mark the final time spent together. He knows this but he doesn't want to believe it. He wants to believe in the beautiful lie staring at him. Kissing those sweet lips that tease and taunt him every single day, he shoves his tongue inside, using his teeth to tease Raito's lower lip.

As the kiss becomes even fiercer, Raito breaks the kiss, wondering why the detective is acting this way. It is almost like the other man believes this is their last time. Before any word can escape his mouth, a moan leaves it when light kisses run down his chest and L's talented tongue sweeps across his nipples, making them harder. Only one word is racing through his mind; why?

Kissing every rib, teasing Raito's belly button, and listening to every hitch of breathe, moans, and whimpers, L works Raito's pants off. Staring down at the treat begging to be touch, he lets his hand glide over Raito's cock, enjoying the loud voice echoing in the room.

"Ngggh! L!" Raito screams out frustrated by L going so slow with him.

Standing up, L strips out of his clothes, showing the younger man everything, no walls around him. Climbing on top of the younger man, he rubs his naked body against Raito's.

Clawing L's back, trying to gain more of the older man, Raito cries out, "L, please." Feeling greasy fingers rubbing against his opening, he spreads his legs, waiting for the wonderful feeling ready to hit him. He doesn't care anymore about anything as long as L is with him.

Pushing in two fingers, gaining a loud whimper, L kisses Raito, fighting the battling tongue for control. He will fall but he will die happy to have this kind of emotion. He waited almost twenty-five years for it. Finally, he can take love to his grave. When hips thrust down onto his fingers, he knows the other is ready for him. Teasing Raito with his cock at the entrance, he asks in a husky voice, "Do you want this?"

"Oh GOD YES!" Raito screams out as L thrusts in him in one go, making him see stars from the pain. Digging his fingers into L's skin, he moans, "Move." Pain and pleasure is the same thing to him and he wants all of L. Not the title but the man behind that title. Will he ever gain that?

All L can hear are the loud moans coming from both him and Raito, skin slapping against skin, and the heavy breathing between them. He rocks his hips against the other, trying to make the other go crazy with their love making. This will be the last time they ever have this kind of relationship and he wants to believe the younger man really meant his words. "Will you mourn for my loss?" L thinks once again, almost nearing the edge. Rubbing Raito's cock hard, he moans, "Cum, Raito."

Raito screams out his orgasm, "L!!!!!!!!" He screams again to feel the older man empty inside of him. When L pulls out and falls next to him, he whispers once again, "I love you. Believe me."

What does he say to the other man? What could make this right? With a sad look, hiding it from Raito, L mutters breathless, "I believe you."

Curling closer to L, Raito lays his head on the pale chest, rubbing circles on L's chest, mumbling, "I'm glad you believe me."

Hearing the soft breathing, L whispers, "I wish we would have more time."

The next night, almost time for them to get going to catch Higuchi, Raito takes Misa to the side, seeing her happy face. He wants to run and never look back. How can he hurt someone so gentle like Misa? With a deep breathe, he comes out clean, "I'm gay, Misa."

Blinking her eyes at him, Misa tilts her head and asks, "Huh?"

Rolling his dark eyes, L points to Raito and explains, "Yagami-kun likes guys not girls. He is gay." He doesn't want to rest anymore time trying to tell the young girl that the one she loves will never love her.

"BUT YOU KISSED ME!" Misa yells.

"I'm sorry, Misa." Raito states and continues. "You see I was hiding that I'm gay because I wasn't sure how people would react. That is why I had tons of girlfriends and that they never worked." Kissing her forehead, Raito whispers once again, "I'm truly sorry for leading you on, but I love someone else. I truly love him with all my heart."

Pulling the chain to get Raito's attention, L growls, "We have to leave or our plan will fall apart."

Looking between the detective and Raito, Misa's eyes widen to understand what is going on. Grabbing a hold of Raito's arm, she cries out, "You can't go after Higuchi!"

With a kind smile, Raito mutters, "We will be fine, Misa. I hope we can still be friends after this is over." It was the only thing he could do to appease and make it up to Misa.

As Raito walks ahead a little, L wants to stop the younger man, lock him up somewhere, but he can't. There is no reason to give but to send his lover to his death. Giving a small smile toward Misa, he realizes what she was trying to do. Walking away to meet his fate, he thinks, "Maybe my death will stop you being Kira, Raito."

Two hours later, L sits there, hearing everyone talk about the rules. It hurts to see the look of hatred run across Raito's face. It would like his death will not stop anything. Waving at everyone, he states, "Everyone should take a break. Come back in thirty minutes." Everyone agrees and leaves. He wants to talk to Raito, try to make him stop being Kira. The third Kira is dead. Looking behind him to find Raito standing there, he speaks, "Yagami-kun is free. He could leave anytime he pleases."

Not moving an inch, Raito retorts, "If you forgotten, I don't have anywhere to go." His father refuses to let him return home while Misa isn't someone he wants to go to. He could ask her to get the second death note and end this game, but his heart keeps hurting for thinking such things. As he glances at Rem who looks back at him, he turns his head away quickly.

"I have not forgotten." L answers and looks back at the death note. He feels his end approaching quickly. How could he let this happen? Why didn't he make sure the other man had nothing on him? Standing up, he walks toward the teenager who begins to back away. Trapping Raito between him and the wall, he whispers, "I was hoping I was wrong this time around but I always knew."

"What are you talking about?"

"You are Kira."

"I'm not Kira!"

As his hand caress Raito's face, L mutters, "I know you are and still I cannot do a thing to you." He leans forward and kisses the lips of a betrayer. When he slips his tongue inside, he makes sure to memorize every part, fighting against the other tongue, ensuring everything that is Raito is his. It tastes like dirt now. It doesn't have the sweet taste it did before and it hurts.

Breaking the kiss, L pulls away and whispers, "Such a foul taste. The taste of a murderer." Without waiting for Raito to argue, he exits the room to find his own peace.

Sliding down the wall, hiding his face, Raito whispers, "Yet, you taste so sweet and pure." His pain for failing rises inside of him. Why did he have to touch the death note again? No, he had to regain possess to make the world a better place. Why does he have to feel so conflicted? Standing up, he glances at Rem quickly. He wants to tell the shinigami to kill L off but his chest hurts so much when thinking about the other's death.

In another room, L stares at the monitors that show Raito. Looking back, he mutters, "Make sure the team knows my choice of who is the next L."

Touching his ward's shoulder, squeezing it, Watari asks, "Are you sure you wish to do this?"

Turning to look back at the monitors, L sighs, "It is the only way to stop Kira." Shaking the caring hand off, he moves to exit the room and sadly states, "It was nice while it lasted. But all things end."

Before L could leave, Watari asks, "Where are you going?"

"To have one last night with my lover." L answers while he walks out the door. Tomorrow will be the end of his life. L will simple die. As he walks down the hall, he feels a shadow following him. Without showing his emotions, he asks, "Will you do this for me?"

"I will as long as you keep your end of the deal."

"Do not worry. I keep my word."

"Why do you wish to save him? He is cruel and evil."

"Because… Because…" L starts to say and turns around to face the creature. Staring at the shinigami, he whispers, "Because my emotions got in the way."

In the main room, Raito paces back and forth. Part of him wants to have L's death and the other part hurts to think such things. Stopping in mid-step, he thinks, "This is to better the world. Sacrifices are needed." Sitting in a chair, leaning his head back and covering his eyes, he images L's death to only let a sob escape his lips.

"I see you will at least mourn my death."

Snapping his head up to stare straight into soulless eyes, Raito whispers, "Of course I would mourn for you. You are my friend and…"

"Shut up, Yagami-kun. I hate to hear your lies."

"I'm not lying!" Raito yells, jumping from his seat. For the first time, he is telling the truth. He would mourn the loss of L. How did everything become so complicate? Before he could say anything else, the others walk in.

Yagami asks, "What is going on?" He hopes they didn't walk in on them trying to have private time. As he looks between his son and L, he knows something is wrong.

"I still believe Yagami-kun is Kira. Yagami-kun and I was arguing about it." L answers.

"How the hell can you still believe that after reading the rules!?" Aizawa yells. The others nod their heads to agree with him.

Turning to look at all the members, L states, "Easy. I do not believe all the rules are true." As he turns to look at Raito, he asks, "Am I correct?"

"I wouldn't know." Raito sneers out with hatred lacing his voice. How could he be in love with this man? Before he knows what he is doing, he throws a punch at the detective and yells, "I HATE YOU!"

Wiping the blood away from his lip, L remarks, "Yet, you proclaim love to me."

Placing his hand on top of his son's shoulder, Yagami whispers for only his son to hear, "Raito, I think he is just upset about the case. Give him some time." He sees the hurt within his son and he wants to tell L off but he doesn't. Their relationship has to be worked out between them.

Lightening flashes and all the computers go dead; L sits there staring at the screens. It is almost time. When everyone asks what is going on, he sits there silent and mumbles, "The Shinigami…" He falls to the ground.

Catching the detective, Raito eyes widen. It couldn't happen so soon. He didn't tell Rem to kill off L now. What is going on? Staring down at the detective, he shakes the other man and begs, "Get a hold of yourself, L! Please."

Seeing the tears rolling down the perfect face, L wants to say a word but his breathe is caught. His eyes are tired and they begin to close. The only thing he sees is Raito's face in agony and hears Raito's voice screaming for him.

Shaking the detective harder, Raito screams, "L! L! L!"

Pulling his distressed son away from L's body, Yagami holds Raito tight and orders, "Check his pulse and someone get Watari."

Watari stands there and whispers, "He is dead. He knew he was going to die."

Raito shakes his head and yells, "NO!"

Checking their leader's pulse, Aizawa shakes his head and sighs sadly, "He's dead."

Without giving the team any time to think, Watari proclaims, "L named Yagami-kun to be the next L."

Notes: Please tell me what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX, angst.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes: Thanks for the comments/reviews for this chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please tell me what you think.

Chapter Six: Grief

Standing there, staring down at the lone grave stone, Raito hides his face from everyone. They will never see his distress like that night. It hurts deep within to lose L. He never thought it would be this way. He was sure his plan was great, but he never expected to fall in love. For the first time, he had someone who understood him and now it is gone. There is no one else who could compare to the older man and damn does it hurt him deeply.

'_Raito.' _

Looking up, expecting L to be standing there, Raito closes his eyes tight, trying to make the tears disappear. The voice of his beloved sounds so heavenly but he knows it isn't real. He watched L die and couldn't even stop it. But the other side of him says it is better this way. Sacrifices are needed to better the world. Of course, this sacrifice was the greatest of all. He gave up his love.

A couple of steps away from his son, Yagami notices the pain written all over Raito's face. He wants to give comfort to his boy but he is sure his son would not accept it. Walking a couple of steps, he puts his hand on Raito's shoulder and whispers, "I know what I said before, but I never meant it. You are always welcome home, Raito." As everyone else heads down the path, he notices Watari and Raito not moving. Taking his hand off his son's shoulder, he whispers, "I am here for you." After saying those words, he leaves them be.

Turning his head to look back, Matsuda wants to say some kind of words to make their new leader show a happy face. Sighing loudly, he catches up with everyone else. No words will make this all right. It means they should fight even more against Kira.

Back at the grave, Raito asks without raising his head, "Why did L name me to succeed him?"

Telling the young boy straight, Watari answers, "He believed you would do well being the leader and hope you would revenge his death."

To revenge his lover's death means the end of his life. What can he do? He wants to revenge L's death but at the same time he wants to make his perfect world. It is complicated now. Staring at the grave stone that reads 'Ryuuzaki', Raito chuckles bitterly, "I'll revenge his death somehow." He hears footsteps walk away from him, giving him time alone. Kneeling, he whispers, "Why did I have to fall in love with you? Everything you did drove me insane even when I didn't have my memories."

'_Yagami-kun.' _

Why does L's voice haunt him so much? It is almost like it is telling him he is at fault. It is true that he is responsible for the older man's death. Tears slide down his face like that night.

"_I see you will at least mourn my death."_

Yes, it is true, he mourns L's death and it hurts. Raito hates feeling this way. It would have been better if his emotions were never involved. Clawing at the dirt, he stares at the false name written in front of his eyes, yelling, "Damn you! Damn you, L! Why did you do this to me!? It is your fault!" Even though he blames the dead man, he knows it is his entire fault. He doesn't want to believe in it. A lie is better than feeling guilt and pain. Standing up on shaky legs, he looks down once again and whispers into the wind, "Maybe one day I will revenge your death. Maybe one day Kira will fall and join you." But now it is time for him to work as both Kira and L. It is the only way to keep the others off his trail. He has to thank L when he sees him again to give him a way to be powerful and making people run around in circles. With determination written on his face, he stands proud and heads back to headquarters. It is time to make a new world.

At headquarters, Watari walks in to see the task members. Looking at each of them, he speaks, "I hope you are still willing to do what you have done."

"I want my son safe and that is all." Yagami retorts with a tired expression. He refuses to let his son do the same thing L did and he hopes Raito won't risk his life by provoking Kira into action like L did.

With his head lower, Matsuda responds firmly, "Ryuuzaki was a friend and a true leader. I stay, regretting nothing." Lifting his head to stare at the elderly man, he continues, "I am in until we find Kira and give him true justice."

While Mogi nods his head to agree, Aizawa states, "I didn't like L's methods but he was good. I'm not leaving."

Stepping inside, Raito speaks up calmly, "We will revenge L's death. I will not let Kira escape from this." Only if the others knew that he was the one who ended L's life. Mogi and Aizawa give him a nod in approval. Matsuda gives a small smile at him while his father gives a concern look at him. It is Watari that scares him. His eyes narrow at him but he keeps his mouth shut. After looking at everyone in the room, he asks what is on everyone's minds, "Are you staying, Watari?"

"Yes." Watari answers. "L was like a son to me. I will not step away until his killer is taken down."

Showing no fear on his face, Raito feels it inside. He knows Watari means his words. Why didn't Rem kill Watari off? Shaking all thoughts aside, he walks forward and sits down in his old chair. When he glances sideways, he is sure that L would be there, accusing him all over again. Sadly, the pale detective isn't there and pain arises inside of him. Without looking back, he mutters, "Everyone should go home for the night. Tomorrow, we will work to get Kira." Matsuda whispers a few kind words while Mogi and Aizawa leave him to his own grief. His father gives his shoulder a squeeze and asks if he wants to return home. He shakes his head and watches Watari walk them all out. Standing up, heading toward the room where he once shared with L, he lets his mask drop, tears falling staining his face. When he enters the room, he notices nothing has changed. Lifting his shirt, he throws the second death note onto the bed. Staring at it like a curse, he mutters, "I should give up."

"Why do that?"

"Because I lost everything."

"I thought L was your enemy, Raito."

"He was, but he was the only one like me."

"I told you once that a human who possesses a death note only knows misery."

"I know, Ryuk." Raito answers. "Go find yourself an apple or something." He sits on the edge of the bed, opening the book. When he looks up, he doesn't see the shiginami anywhere. He opens a laptop near him and begins to kill. It is time for Kira to rise to godhood.

In the monitor room, Watari sighs in grief and rubs his tired eyes. He should go and tell the task force what he sees, but he will follow L's orders to the letter. Looking down at the letter, he whispers, "L, how could you think this would help?"

_Watari, _

_What ever happens, do not turn Raito in. Not right away. He will stop being Kira himself. If he doesn't stop within a month, then have him arrested and let justice take him on. _

_L_

Turning the cameras off that he once told L to put in the bedroom without Raito knowing, Watari turns around and closes his eyes. He only can hope it will work like L thought it would.

In the bedroom, Raito lays down ignoring the headache. Closing his eyes, he tells himself a thirty minute nap will do him wonders. He has to stop grieving or he will never do what he planned. As his breathing even out, he falls into a deep sleep.

An hour later, a voice awakes the young man. Sitting up in bed, he stares with wide eyes at the pale man sitting with his knees pulled to his chest and his thumb pressed against his lip. Shaking from head to foot, Raito whispers, "You're dead."

Tilting his head, L mumbles around his thumb, "Of course, I am. Kira-kun killed me. No, you killed me."

"NO!!" Raito begins to scream. "I didn't mean it to happen that way!"

"You mean you did not want to fall in love with me. You meant to kill me and now I am dead."

"No. You don't understand. I… I… love you, L"

Startled, Raito wakes up and looks around the room breathing heavy. When he doesn't see a ghost of his beloved, he finds Ryuk floating above him laughing like a manic. Calming himself down, he asks annoyed, "What?"

Laughing loudly, Ryuk mocks, "I love you, L."

Throwing a pillow at the shiginami, watching it go through Ryuk, Raito flops back onto the bed, groaning, "It was a dream." Looking over at the clock, it reads two in the morning. It is almost like living with L all over again. Thinking on his deceased lover, he turns his head away from the mocking shiginami and lets more tears fall.

"_Shut up, Yagami-kun. I hate to hear your lies." _

But his words were true. In all his life, he lied to fit in but he didn't lie when he told the detective that he loved him. Throwing a blanket over his head, Raito curls up in a ball, letting his emotions over run him.

Watching the human who gave him the best fun in a long time shaking under the blankets, Ryuk shakes his head not understanding why humans are so emotional. Flying through the wall, he watches the elderly man standing there.

"I hope for everyone's sake that you were right, L." Watari whispers, believing he is alone. Turning away, giving the young man privacy to grief, he walks down the hall, shaking his head in what is left of the team.

The next day, Raito sits in his chair, typing quickly on the computer, pulling up everything from before. He can only hope that L didn't leave anything behind to convict him. Turning around when the door is busted open, he stares at the worry Matsuda.

As everyone turns to look at him, Matsuda cries, "Do you see the news!? Kira killed almost thirty people in one night."

Slamming his hand down on the table, Aizawa growls, "Kira must think without L, there is no one in his way."

Yes, it is true, that he doesn't believe anyone could catch him, but he must play the good perfect person. Sighing loudly, Raito points out, "But he is wrong. We are still working on the case."

"With Raito-kun on our side, there is nothing Kira can do." Matsuda yells happily. "After all, he and L were on level with each other. Kira won't stand a chance."

Mogi and Aizawa turn to look at him oddly but he ignores it. There is no proof that he is Kira. That was what L needed and he didn't get it. Turning around, Raito sighs, "I might not be as good as L. I might be on his level, but I don't have the experience like he did."

"_Of course, I am. Kira-kun killed me. No, you killed me." _

His chest hurts badly. Raito doesn't want those words in his head anymore but they keep haunting him.

"But you solved cases before." Matsuda states.

Slamming his hand against the desk, Raito growls, "Stop comparing me to L. I'm not L!" As everyone turns to look at him in shock, he shakes his head. Last night, he couldn't go back to sleep in fear he would dream again. Lowering his head, he whispers, "Sorry. It is just too much too soon."

Yagami retorts, "We understand, Raito."

No, they don't, but he won't tell them that. No one would understand because no one ever killed their own lover. Hiding his grief behind a mask, Raito mumbles, "Let's just continue to work. Maybe we can get a clue and finally solve this damn case." Part of him wants to end it now, to tell them all that he is Kira. The other part tells him to keep his mouth shut and continue to work on making the world perfect.

Entering the room with a tray of coffee and food, Watari tells everyone, "Please consider others' emotions." Putting a fresh cup of coffee in front of the teenager, he continues, "Please sleep more, Yagami-kun. I doubt it would do anyone good if you do not rest."

"L didn't rest."

Chuckling slightly, Watari explains, "Oh he did rest, just no one saw him do it."

Stepping toward his son, Yagami retorts in a worried voice, "Raito, you need rest."

"I won't rest until we catch Kira." Raito vows only to hide his face from view. It would mean he would never rest since Kira is in front of everyone eyes. He refuses to die so early in his life. Staring at the screen, taking a slip of his coffee, he thinks, "Losing you is making me lose my mind. L."

Laughing, floating, and taunting, Ryuk teases, "You will never rest unless you turn yourself in."

Mogi points out, "L believed Raito-kun was Kira. Was it a good choice to choose him?" Aizawa and him discussed about it earlier, trying to figure out why L choose Raito.

Looking at his two best men, Yagami wishes to say something to them, but closes his mouth. He would like to hear that too. As he glances at elderly man, he asks, "Why did he choose my son really?"

"No one else can take up the L title now. Yagami-kun is the best choice and I stayed behind L's decision." Watari answers.

The day goes on with no new leads. Of course there aren't any leads. Raito made sure of that. As he glances backwards, he mumbles, "Maybe everyone should go get lunch."

Matsuda asks, "Want to come with us?"

Letting his fingers glide over the keyboard, staring at the screen with information that he already knows, Raito answers, "No. Bring me something back." Once he hears them leave, he leans back and closes his eyes. Not sleeping all night long can get to him.

"Why?"

Opening his eyes only to jump back from a pale face and dark large eyes staring at him, Raito stutters, "How… How are you?"

"Does Yagami-kun not know?"

"L." Raito whispers, afraid he would awake any minute. As he lifts his hand, he whispers more words, "Don't leave me." He touches L's face, giving a small smile. His entire body shakes from fear.

"I cannot stay."

"Why?"

"Because I'm dead."

"But I miss you. God, I miss you."

"You killed me, Yagami-kun. There is no turning back."

"I didn't mean to. It wasn't supposed to be that way."

"Good-bye."

"I love…"

Falling off his chair, Raito stands up in rage and throws everything off the table. L was there but isn't now. When everyone walks in, he listens to their questions. Flopping onto the chair, he mutters, "Leave me alone. It was nothing. I fell asleep and had a dream." Besides the questions for his actions, he hears Ryuk's laughter ringing. When will he stop dreaming of his lover?

Notes: What do you think of this chapter? Please leaves comments/reviews. I hope you all enjoyed it.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX, angst.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes: Thanks for the comments for this story so far. Well here is more angst. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave comments/reviews, they help me write more. 

Chapter Seven:

A few days go by with Raito still seeing the dead detective. It drives him mad and grieves even more. To see but unable to have is painful. Sitting in the bedroom, staring down at the death note, he can't even pick up the pen and write. Yesterday Matsuda commented on how the killings started to slow down. It is because he can't do it anymore. Flopping onto the bed, he talks to himself, "I wish you were here. I wish it was all over."

"Giving up."

Not looking by the door, Raito mumbles, "You aren't real and I hate it."

"Why?"

"Because I miss you."

"Yagami-kun is lying."

Glancing toward the door to find the pale man that haunts him, Raito lets tears fall down his face and asks, "How can you say that?"

"Yagami-kun has not turned himself in yet. He is lying."

Sitting up in bed, Raito reaches out to the detective and whispers, "I don't want to die." He grabs a hold of L's arm and wonders how it can feel so real when it is only a dream or an illusion. Pulling the detective toward him, he seals the other's lip and mumbles, "I love you. That is no lie." Feeling a caress to his face, he wants more but he knows it will end soon. Memories of the times they had come to his mind and he closes his eyes to shut out the pain. It only brings more sorrow to his heart. Dropping his arm, he groans, "I want you back."

"That cannot happen, Yagami-kun."

"I know." Raito responds back. When he hears silence, he opens his eyes to see no one else in his room. Pulling his knees up to his chest, he sobs out his pain like never before.

Entering the room, seeing a sight he never thought he would, Yagami asks, "What's wrong, Raito?"

Looking up to the new voice that means nothing to him, Raito wipes away the tears staining his face and mutters, "Nothing."

Walking over to the bed, sitting on the edge, Yagami asks without looking at his son, "You really loved him?"

"Of course I did. I wouldn't have been by his side if I didn't." Raito answers in a cold voice. No one else means anything to him. Only L meant anything to him and it hurts that he doesn't have him around. When he feels a touch, he shrugs it off. He doesn't want anyone else's touch except L. L is the only one he wants beside him and he ruined that.

Looking at his son, Yagami sighs, "I don't know what to tell you, but you can't live like this. You would do no good like this while investigating the Kira Case. We need you to catch Kira."

Ryuk chuckles out darkly, "Are you going to tell your dear daddy that you are Kira?"

What can he say? How can he explain everything? As he glances to see the note book lying right below the chair, Raito fears grows and comments, "Give me a few minutes dad. I'll pull through. I'll be down in a five minutes." His dad nods his head and leaves the room. Grabbing the book quickly, he hears Ryuk laugh, taunting him.

Flipping around the room, Ryuk chuckles, "Only if they knew that you are Kira. They would hate you."

"I hate myself."

Stopping in his tracks, Ryuk looks at the most interesting human he has ever met and sees the pain engraved on his young face. Glancing upwards, he thinks if he should give advice or not. As he shrugs his body shoulders, he remarks, "You should end the case."

In quick movements, Raito turns to look at the shiginami and asks, "How can I end the case?"

"Make Kira disappear."

Pacing back and forth, Raito mumbles, "But if Kira stops now, it might show the others that I am Kira. But I want the haunting dreams of L to stop. If I stop being Kira, would that make them stop?"

At a small coffee shop, Misa sits down and shakes slightly. While staring at the man across from her, she comments, "He is hurting."

"I know."

"You can't go near him."

"That is difficult."

"Why?"

"Because I want him."

Glaring at the man across from her, Misa whispers while leaning forward, "Kira is dangerous."

"I know, but that will not stop me. I want Raito Yagami, not Kira."

As she leans back in her chair, Misa thinks over all that was told to her. When remembering the time Raito broke up with her, she sighs sadly, "I'll help you as long as you make him better. The last time I saw him, he looked like a ghost."

"I'll help him. I'll end Kira-kun and gain Raito-kun."

"How?" Misa asks.

"The plan is already in the works. Please Amane-chan, trust me."

When the man stands up and leaves the coffee shop, Misa runs out after him to only see him get into a car. As she watches the car drive off, she whispers, "I hope you do not break him or you will regret it." Placing a happy face on, she heads to the headquarters. It is time to make Kira disappear forever and make Raito come back. She can only hope that he won't break down. Turning the corner, she runs into Matsuda. With a happily smile, she chirps, "Matsu-san! The man Misa was looking for! Misa wants to see Raito."

Not having a heart to tell her that the man she loves will never return her feelings, Matsuda responds, "All right. I'll let you in." As Misa hugs his arm, he blushes beat red. Trying to dislodge the girl, he gives up after the fifth attempt and continues to walk to the headquarters. He can only hope Raito won't bite his head off again.

Inside headquarters, Aizawa asks, "Why all the sudden did Kira slow down?"

Sitting there, reading the reports, Yagami suggests, "Maybe he is waiting for something big."

"Or maybe he is giving up." Ryuk taunts with no one hearing him but Raito.

Turning around to look at the others, seeing their determination, Raito mumbles, "Who knows." Before anyone could say a word, Misa runs inside and tackles him out of his chair. Making a huffing sound, he stares up at the annoying blonde girl. Why did she have to come around? Two days ago, she asked if he wanted to get back with her but he declined. He doesn't need someone making mistakes for him to clean up. Pushing the buddle of joy off of him, he growls, "What do you want, Misa?"

Pouting at Raito, Misa remarks, "Misa came to cheer Raito up. Raito needs to rest and eat more." Standing up, helping the teenager up, she announces, "Raito is going to get a great dinner from Misa." Before anyone can comment, she runs out of the room to the kitchen to make a good dinner for Raito.

Shaking his head, Yagami orders, "Raito go get some rest. We can handle this for an hour."

Brushing invisible dirt off his clothes, Raito thanks his father and heads back to his room. Running into a wall, he stares wide eyed at a man who should be dead. Before a word can escape his lips, the detective's mouth is over his. Forgetting everything, he returns the kiss, wanting this to be real so badly. Feeling the older man rub against him, he moans into the kiss. Breaking the kiss, he whispers, afraid, "L."

"Shhh, Kira-kun."

"Don't call me that."

"But that is who you are."

"I'm not…"

"Do not lie to me."

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Stop haunting me."

"I will not stop until Kira-kun is stopped."

"You want me dead."

"I want Kira-kun to stop."

"I am Kira." Raito says while throwing away all his sanity by kissing a ghost. When he feels a bite, he hits his head against the wall hard. Sliding to the ground, he yells while his vision goes black and the man he wants begins to disappear, "L!" The next thing Raito hears is voices.

"I'm worried, Chief." Matsuda says.

Aizawa hits Matsuda's head and mutters, "Of course, everyone would be worried to hear someone scream out a dead man's name."

Did he scream out the detective's name when he fell? How could he be stupid? As he lies still, Raito listens to everyone talk like he isn't in the room.

Yagami whispers, "Stop everyone. I think the death of L hit Raito a lot more than he is letting on."

Sitting up, making everyone gasp, Raito comments, "If you don't want someone to hear you, then be quieter or talk in a different room." Glaring at everyone, he wants them to leave him in peace. It is hurts his heart to know that everything is false and just in his head. He wants L back. He wants to see the detective again.

In the monitoring room, Watari shakes his head and gives a soft smile. Deleting the video, he whispers, "I will make sure Yagami-kun is safe."

Notes: What is Watari up to? Please leave comments/reviews, they help me write more. 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX, angst.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes:

Chapter Eight:

Late at night, Watari sits in his chair, waiting for a person to come looking in the room. When he hears the door, he glances over to find Raito standing there in a wreck. Slipping some tea, he asks, "Are you here to get rid of the tape?"

As his eyes widen, Raito chocks, "You… You know."

Nodding his head, turning back at the monitors, Watari sighs, "I erased the video."

Stepping forward, Raito doesn't know what to think. The elderly men told everyone that he wanted the one responsible for L's death and he confessed. It was when he was imaging L standing not two feet from him, but he still let those words slip out of his mouth. Shaking from fear, he asks, "Why? You… You had…"

Turning around to face the young man, Watari explains, "L's last orders were to protect you."

"Why? Why? Why protect me when I was the one…" Raito rants only to close his mouth to prevent the sobs from escaping his lips. Falling to his knees, he whispers, "You want Kira's head for what happened to L. Why follow his orders?"

Setting his cup of tea down, Watari thinks about it. Why is he following L's orders when he can stop Kira? Sighing out loud, he answers, "Because you brought something to L that no one could do. He enjoyed your company. I respected L and I will follow his orders." He can only hope Kira will disappear from the boy forever.

Standing up in rage, Raito yells, "You should hate me! I killed him!"

"I believe I am satisfied you feel guilt over his death."

Without saying a word, Raito storms out of the room, passing by Matsuda who tries to gain his attention. No one would understand the pain he feels. It is guilt he feels but he doesn't want to feel it. Entering his room, he slams his door and collapses onto the floor with tears flowing down his face. He wants it to be over but at the same time he fears death. Feeling arms wrap around him, he whispers, "I know this isn't real but I want to believe you are still here."

"I am here with Yagami-kun."

Without lifting his head, fearing the illusion would disappear before his eyes, Raito mutters, "I want you back but know that is never going to happen."

"That is correct, Kira-kun."

"Why do you still call me that?" Raito cries.

"Because Yagami-kun is still Kira-kun."

Lifting his head, staring into soulless eyes, Raito seals L's lip, pouring every emotion inside of him into the kiss. He wants it to be over with. He wants to be with L but he knows that will never happen. Ryuk told him that he will neither go to heaven or hell. As the kiss is broken, he asks while caress the pale face in front of him, "Am I not allowed believing in a lie?"

"I believed in a lie and it got me killed."

Leaning his head against L's shoulder, Raito mumbles, "I'm sorry." What else could he say to a ghost? All he desires is forgiveness but he doesn't expect it. Closing his eyes tightly, he asks, "Why do you still haunt me? Kira is losing."

"I noticed. But Kira still remains."

"What do you want me to do? Do you want to turn myself in?"

"Yagami-kun is smart. He will figure it out."

When he is lifted up, Raito opens his eyes and demands, "Stay with me for a while." This is insane but his sanity is long gone. All he has is some illusions of his dead lover to keep him company. When he is placed on the bed, he leans up and kisses L again, wanting it to be true, wishing it was like before, hoping for salvation.

"It is time for Yagami-kun to rest."

"But if I sleep, you will disappear."

"Hush now. Yagami-kun must sleep."

As his eyes close, Raito mutters in longing, "L."

In the main room, Yagami paces back and forth, trying to remain calm but his worry overcomes everything. Looking up when Watari walks into the room, he asks, "What did my son need with you?"

Watari lies easily, "He wanted to see what he said in the hallway." As everyone looks at him, he shrugs his shoulders and explains, "The video fid messed up at the time. There is nothing but blackness."

"I hate to say this but maybe Raito is Kira." Aizawa points out.

"I do not believe so." Watari answers kindly.

"L believed it." Mogi responds.

Setting down the tray of food, Watari stands up straight and tells the members of the task force, "L believed it but he also thought Raito would be a perfect choice in succeeding him."

Taking a sit, Yagami argues, "I will not believe my son could be Kira."

Coming into the room, Misa shakes her head and yells, "Raito is not Kira! He would never be like that." She stomps her foot down and runs down the hallway. When she opens the bedroom door, she steps inside as quietly as she can, seeing Raito fast asleep. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she whispers, "I know you will never forgive me, but it is the only way." When Watari walks into the room with a tray of food, she asks, "Are you helping too?"

Setting the tray next to the bed, Watari nods his head. Shaking the young man awake, he orders, "Eat, Yagami-kun."

Staring at the food like a curse, Raito mumbles, "I'm not hungry."

"You have not been hungry for the past two days. This is not how L wanted things. You will eat or I will force you to eat." Watari responds with a fierce voice.

Taking the tray, picking up a fork, and picking at his food, Raito whispers in longing, "L." As his eyes scan the room, he finds only Watari and Misa. Once again, he dreamt of the older man being here. Eating his food which makes him feel sick, he remarks, "I want it to end."

Hugging Raito even though he tries to push her away, Misa cries, "Please Raito do not say those things. Misa would miss Raito."

Pushing her away gently, Raito shakes his head and begins to eat even more to prevent him from speaking. He doesn't want to speak to anyone but L. It is too late to have conversations with the detective. He should have. Sadness races throughout his body while his mind tells him he had no choice. Didn't he have a choice? Didn't L order Watari to protect him? After watching Watari take Misa out of his room, he whispers, "I want L."

Floating around the room, Ryuk mocks, "I want L. I want L." Grabbing an apple from the tray and eating it, he continues, "You sound like a broken record. I gave you some advice to stop this mess."

Walking into the main room, Watari notices the grim looks on all the members' faces and sighs. It would seem he will have to do more work to prevent them locking up the teenager. Letting go of Misa's arm, he whispers, "I think it is time for you to leave, Amane-chan." Misa nods her head and bounces out of the room. After she leaves, he takes a seat and asks, "What were you talking about?"

Aizawa is the one who speaks up, "L believed that some of the rules in the death note were false. We agreed that we believe him."

"Why?" Watari asks, glancing toward the hallway.

Stepping forward, face down in shame, Yagami explains, "Kira's killings are haywire now. It almost like he is still there and disappearing."

Standing up, Watari mumbles, "I believe Yagami-kun's innocence. L would not have chosen him other wise. I will stand by his side if no one else will."

Lifting his face, Yagami stares at a man who believes his son's innocence when he can't. Clinching his hands into fists, he whispers, "I have to know for sure, Watari."

In the bedroom, Raito pushes the tray onto the floor in anger. He wants it to be over. He can't stand living with this guilt. Standing up, walking to the bathroom, he opens the door to stare stun. Stepping inside, shutting the door behind him, he asks, "Why do you continue to haunt me?"

"I will haunt Yagami-kun until he gives up being Kira-kun."

"You don't want me dead."

"Of course not. I want Kira-kun gone."

Walking toward the older man, Raito lets his mind slip into insanity and holds onto the only person in the world who understands him. Right now, he is living a lie and he hates himself for it. As he feels arms around his body, he mumbles against the older man, "If I give it up, I will suffer even more."

"Give it up for me."

"I can't."

"You must."

"Why?"

"Yagami-kun will die."

"I can't live without you."

"Yes, you can."

Looking at the pale face, Raito runs his fingers across L's cheek bones down to his neck while whispering, "You feel so real."

"I am real to you."

As his vision starts to go, Raito tries to hold onto the older man for longer, mumbling, "L. Please. Need. You." The next thing he knows is him in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to Ryuk laughs and moans about being bored. As he glances at the shiginami, he tells Ryuk, "Ryuk, this is goodbye. I know how to stop it all."

Stopping in his tracks, Ryuk studies the human and asks, "How?"

"I forfeit both death notes. It was nice knowing you."

While watching the young human pass out, Ryuk laughs, "It was fun knowing you, Raito. Time for me to go back to my world." He glances at Raito's lifespan and chuckles loudly, while flying out of the room. Kira is finally dead.

Two weeks go by, Raito typing on the computer, trying to find any sign of Kira. After hitting the keyboard hard, he mutters out loud, "It is like Kira disappeared." He wants to revenge the loss he and others have suffered. Turning around to face every member, he asks, "Anything?" Each one of them say 'no.' When Watari enters the room, he asks hopeful, "Did you find anything, Watari?"

With a kind smile, Watari shakes his head and states, "Sadly, no." Walking over, setting a few files onto the desk, he gains a raised eyebrow from the young genius. He explains, "Other cases that will need your advice."

"What?" Yagami asks quickly, going to stand by his son.

Watari explains, "Yagami-kun is now L. Other cases are needed to be solved. It has been two weeks since Kira's last killings. It would make sense to work on different cases."

"It happened before." Aizawa points out. "Kira stopped for almost two weeks and restarted to kill again."

Watari responds, "And without anyone noticing, L worked on other cases while still keeping an eye out for Kira's actives."

Looking down at the files, Raito feels a large weight on his shoulders. He never thought he would have to work through other cases being L. Shaking his head in sadness, he retorts, "I'm grateful to have the title but I didn't even finish college yet. I only took up the title to bring Kira to justice. With all he has done, I want to settle the matter."

Sighing loudly, Watari replies, "I knew you would say that. Please everyone follow me." He walks out the door, knowing the other members are following him. Opening a private door, he steps inside. Moving out of everyone's way, he stands by the door and watching everyone walk inside.

When he enters, Raito notices everyone's stun silence. Looking over by many computers, he drops the stack of papers he was holding onto the floor. Quickly looking at everyone to see what their expressions are, hoping he isn't seeing another illusion, he whispers, "L."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX, angst.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes: Thanks for the comments/reviews. Please tell me what you think.

Chapter Nine:

In front of his eyes, L stands with his baggy shirt and pants. Looking at others to see their reactions, he finds that it isn't another illusion. Matsuda drops his papers and smiles. Mogi, Aizawa, and his father all look shock. Leaning against the wall to gain some kind of support, he only says, "Why?"

Staring at the one who he was haunting, L tells half-truths, "Kira was closing in. Rem-san told me that she could stop Kira completely as long as I helped her protect someone." The first part was the truth but the last part was a complete lie. The only way to stop Kira was to gain the shiginami's help and it took a lot to convince her to help him.

Standing up straight, Raito looks at the man who he loves. He is happy that L is alive but also hurt. When L takes a few steps toward him, he yells, "BASTARD!" Without letting anyone stop him, he runs out of the room. How could L not tell him that he was faking his death? Didn't they have something special together? Was it all a lie? As he moves into a bedroom, he flops onto the bed.

In the spare room, L looks on in sadness. He expected Raito to take it hard. There was no other way though. It was to save the one he loves. It is sad that he can never tell Raito that. If he told the young man who he really was, it would make Raito lose his mind completely. Looking at the others, he finds so many different emotions. Aizawa and Yagami look upset while Mogi and Matsuda look relieve. Jumping onto his sit, he pulls his legs up to his chest and explains, "I had no other choice."

"You could have told us!" Aizawa yells.

Yagami agrees with Aizawa, "Aizawa is right. You could have told us." There are two reasons he is upset about the situation. The first is because his son got hurt due to L's so-called death. The second is because he was sure L trusted them and it seems he didn't.

Glancing back at the computer, L could show them why he couldn't trust them and why he had to do it the way he did. Turning back to look at the members, he sighs, "I had little choice. It was the only way."

Floating through the ceiling, Rem retorts, "It is over. Kira is gone completely. Remember our deal human or else."

Tilting his head, placing his thumb against his lip, L remarks, "I will not go back on my word." When the shinigami holds out her hand, he hands her the death note.

"What is going on?" Aizawa asks.

"I am returning the death note back to its owner. The Kira Case is done." L answers. When he watches Rem fly through the ceiling, he whispers, "Finally, it is over." Standing up, moving toward the exit, he mutters, "You all can go now." Each one of them all says, 'what' and he answers, "The case is over. Kira is dead." Without saying another word, he heads toward the one person he gave up a lot to save. When he enters the room, he finds Raito packing his things. Walking toward the bed, sitting on the edge, curling his toes against the covers, he asks, "Will Yagami-kun not let me explain?"

"Explain what, L? Explain why you let me, your lover; believe you were dead for almost a month?" Raito growls without turning to face the pale man who stole his heart.

Not moving from his spot, L responds, "I have no excuse, but only to say it was to protect you from harm." It is the truth. It is the only way to tell the teenager what was at cost.

Turning around with a shirt in his hands, Raito screams, "That is no excuse! You fucking let me mourn your death for a month! I thought I was losing my mind, seeing you around!" Throwing more shirts into a suitcase, he lets the anger run him now instead of any other emotion.

Hoping off the bed, L walks toward Raito. Wrapping his arms around Raito's boy, feeling the other struggling, he whispers, "I love you even if you do not believe me. I will not ask you to forgive me. I cannot explain why I did what I did. All I can say it was to protect you."

Pulling away from L like he was burned, Raito stares into emotionless eyes and replies with a broken voice, "I can't believe anything you say." Looking at L hurts him so badly. Grabbing the suitcase, he whispers, "I can't believe you. I can't. This is goodbye."

"Goodbye, Raito." L says simply without emotion. What else could he say? Everything tells him to tell Raito the truth but he can't stand to see the other hurt worse. Kira is gone and that is the only thing that matters. With a soft caress to Raito's face, he mutters, "I wish it could have been more."

"You should have thought about that before you faked your death and didn't tell me." Raito responds while pulling away from the touch he craved for a month. Exiting the room, he whispers, "Goodbye, L."

When the door shuts, L whispers without turning around to see the door closed, "But you were Kira." There is no turning back now. All he can do is move forward even if it hurts. Looking into the closet, he grabs the few things that belong to him and stuffs it into a bag. It is time for the detective return to his work. Work is all he ever knew and it would seem it will be all he has left.

Down the hall, Raito holds his head up high. There is no point running back to a man who couldn't trust him. Going to the elevator, he sees Watari walking toward him. Looking at the man who knew L was alive, he asks, "Why didn't you tell us?"

"And risk his life alone others." Watari responds back. "He had no choice. It was to protect you and the task force."

Those words don't make him feel any better. Holding onto his suit case tightly, Raito mutters with hatred laced in his voice, "He should have trusted me." When he hears the ding for the elevator, he responds, "Good-bye, Watari-san." He enters without looking at the elderly man. After all, Watari's loyalty is with L not him. It hurts to know he was left out of the loop all that time while he spent his time trying to find who killed L when L was alive. Hitting the key for the lobby, he leans against the wall and sighs sadly. It would have been nice to have someone who understood him by his side but there is no way for that.

In the bedroom, L grabs his bag, ready to leave the place that gave him some kind of memories. He hates having memories because they only leave him feeling empty. When he steps out into the hall way, he finds his caretaker. Looking at everything, he orders, "Pack everything up and send back to England."

"You are leaving without talking to him."

"He did not want to hear my words."

"You could have told him the truth."

"And watched him suffer more. No. That was out of the question."

Beginning to take apart the monitors, Watari sighs sadly, "The tickets are on the table. It leaves in an hour." Looking at his ward, he continues, "You still have time to offer him a job."

Throwing his bag over his shoulder, grabbing the tickets, L lays two back down, keeping one for himself. He responds while staring at the one ticket that was meant for the teenager, "I will send a job offer when he is done with school."

"It might be too late then."

Understanding Watari's kind words, L turns to look at the one who took him in when no one would. Sighing out loud, he shrugs his shoulders and mutters, "He doesn't want me around." Without letting the other talk him out of it, he leaves with a ticket in hand. It is time to return home.

In a car, watching the city fly by, Raito wants to turn around and run back to a man who somehow squeezed into his heart. Maybe he should have listened but it hurt. Glancing toward his dad, he turns away quickly. There is no point in discussion the problems with someone else. His father and most of the task force were as upset as he was. Yes, he can understand why L never told anyone. It made it look real to the outside world. But he doesn't understand how the Kira Case ended. Without looking at his father, he demands, "Take me back to headquarters."

"Why?"

"Please, dad. There is one thing I have to do." Raito pleads.

Nodding his head and turning the car around, Yagami heads back to headquarters. Whatever happened between L and his son, it hurt his son greatly.

There has to be something on the monitors. As he watches the scenes fly by, Raito can only hope that he can get a look on them. Is it the real reason of going back? Is he forgiving the older man so easily? When the car stops, he tells his dad, "I will only be a few minutes." Without letting his dad say a word, he runs inside the building, heading straight to the monitoring room. There has to be something there. The doors open and he sees no one inside. Flying through some of the tapes, he finds one that he wants to look at. Playing the video, he backs up with horror. He notices what is in his hand. Backing up more, he runs into Watari. Turning around, staring at the elderly man, he whispers, "He was protecting me. He was letting me get away with murder."

"He was saving a person who got corrupted by an unearthly power." Watari answers.

With tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, Raito shakes his head. Now, everything makes sense. L couldn't tell him because he would have used it against the older man. Passing by Watari, he mutters, "Tell him, I'm sorry."

"Why don't you tell him yourself? If I drive you, we could get to the airport before his fight takes off."

Shaking his head, Raito mutters, "Tell him, I'm sorry." Not letting the elderly man tell him anything else, he heads out of the room to go back to his normal boring life. It would have been fun being with L but he can't forgive himself. He was Kira. He killed so many in the name of a false justice. When he gets into the car, he mumbles, "I'm sure Sayu and Mom misses us. Let's go home."

While driving, Yagami asks, "What is it, Raito?"

Giving his dad a false smile, Raito mutters, "Nothing at all. It is time to look toward the future."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX, angst.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes: Thanks for the comments/reviews. Please tell me what you think.

Chapter Ten:

A couple weeks goes by without L calling him. As he sits at the desk, studying hard, Raito finds it all boring again. When he was Kira, there were things to do that interest him. It also let him meet L. Leaning back in his chair; he realizes he misses the older man. It is the same feeling he got when he believed the detective was dead. Startled out of his thoughts by a knock at his door, he quickly pulls shirt sleeves down to cover his arms up. Looking over at the door, he replies with a sweet voice even though he doesn't feel anything but sorrow, "Come in."

Walking in his son's room, Yagami asks, "How is school?"

With a raised eyebrow, Raito turns around to face his computer and sighs, "Mom worried about me."

"She knows you were helping us with the Kira Case." Yagami explains, watching his son flinch. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he continues with his parent talk, "I know you want to see him again. I could…"

"I doubt he wants to see me."

"How do you know that? What I heard from Watari is he feels the same about you."

Looking down at the piece of paper that he is almost finish writing, Raito mutters, "You wouldn't understand."

"Then explain it to me, son." Yagami tells Raito.

Turning around annoyed, Raito retorts, "You still would not understand. We both made mistakes and neither of us can take back what we did to each other. We can't be together." It is the truth. They hurt each other to the point of no return. Can they forgive each other? Can they forget the past that hurt them to move forward? He doubts it. Standing up, ready to leave the room, he feels his father grab at his arm making him hiss in pain.

In quick movements, Yagami stands up and pulls up Raito's sleeve to see some cut marks over them. Looking at his son with concern, he asks, "How long?"

Pulling his arm away from his father, Raito pulls the sleeves down again. He already feels the shame for doing such a stupid thing, but it was the only thing he could think of that didn't involve drugs or booze. When he notices the firm look in his father's eyes, he answers without thinking, "A week and I haven't done it for a couple of days."

"You are going…"

"If you ever say a therapist, I'll leave." Raito threatens.

Smacking his son across the face, Yagami retorts firmly, "Do not ever threaten me like that again. I am your father, you will show me respect."

Touching his face and feeling blood drip from his lip, Raito stares at his father in shock. How could his father smack him like that? This is the reason he hid from everyone who was near him. They would never understand what he is going though and telling them would end his life. Watching his dad leave his room, he flinches when the door slams shut. It hurts deep within and he can never show anyone. The only person he could be open with is long gone. When his phone rings, he jumps startled out of his depressing thoughts. Grabbing his cell phone, he answers, "Hello."

"It is good to hear your voice."

Falling to his knees, letting tears flow down his face, Raito feels like he is in heaven to hear the one voice he missed even if it is emotionless. Gripping the phone like his life line, he asks, "Why haven't you called?"

"The last time I saw Yagami-kun, it seemed he wanted his space."

"I need you."

"I cannot leave my location due to a case."

Curling his knees up to his chest, Raito mutters, "I really need you." Wiping the blood from his lip, feeling it being sore, he really wants to be with L and no one else. He could less about leaving behind his family and so-called friends. He could do school online with flying colors. He could do anything and still be able to live wherever he wishes.

"I never knew Yagami-kun was weak."

"I'm not weak!"

"Yagami-kun is acting like it."

Ready to flip at the detective, Raito stares at his arms, realizing he became weak. It isn't him at all. The person he was; was strong and prideful. The pain in his heart made him feel weak. All this time he wanted the one person he couldn't have. They hurt each other with their words, actions, and pride. As he stares out his window, Raito knows he felt shame for everything. L risked his career, his life hood to protect him and it made him feel the shame. Loosing his grip on the phone, he whispers, "You hurt me."

"And Yagami-kun hurt me. We are even."

"An eye for an eye."

"Yes."

With a bitter smile, Raito mutters, "Bastard."

"I have to go Yagami-kun."

When the lines disconnects, Raito stares at the floor like it the most interesting thing in the world. The future lines ahead if he would take that step forward to make it there. Tossing his phone onto the bed, he whispers to the empty room, "You seem to always know what I need. It is too bad we can't be together."

At a hotel, L leans against the glass window, staring out at the city below him. His hand holds onto the phone. Why did he call the teenager? Was it something inside that told him he had to check in on Raito? When the door opens, he hunches his back even more. Looking through the glass to see Watari's reflection, he asks, "Will they tell him?"

"They will not tell him unless you say other wise. But…" Watari states.

Cutting his caretaker off, L speaks, "But he might see it a way to help Yagami-kun."

"He just called and informed me that Yagami-kun has been cutting himself."

Those words make him fear for the younger man. He wants to help the other. He needs Raito in his life. That isn't right. He wants the teenager in his life. As he stuffs his hands into his pockets, L retorts, "I'll talk to him."

"I doubt he wants to talk but to see."

Turning around, L smiles and responds, "We both need our space to figure out what we need and want." He already has admitted he wants the other man. It is up to Raito now. That is what he fears the most. Maybe the teenager doesn't want him around.

At the Yagami household, Raito sits down at the dinner table with his head held high. It is time for him to move forward and do what he desired to do since he was a child; became part of NPA like his father. As the food is passed around the table in silence, he can sense the tension. With a fake smile, he comments, "Some finals are coming up."

Sachiko asks, "Do you think you are ready for them?"

Looking straight at his father, Raito remarks, "I'm ready for them and will ace them."

Giggling loudly, Sayu comments, "You are so confident of yourself."

Raito smiles at his sister and listens to the chatter between his family. He notices his father's silence and figures it is about their fight earlier. There is no way he will bring up the topic. No one needs to know he was weak for a while. Yes, it is the same. It is boring but he will make it though. He will not let himself become weak again. After his meal, he excuses himself to finish his homework. It is a lie but no one needs to know that. Lying in his bed, staring at the ceiling, he wonders what L would be doing. He hates thinking about the older man but no matter how much he tells himself to forget the detective he can't. Glancing at his phone, he ponders if he will ever get a call from L again. As he closes his eyes, he whispers, "It doesn't matter. It is over." It will only be a memory in his mind to think on.

At a hotel, L stares at the T.V. pondering over what he should do next. Couldn't they put something more interesting on? Sighing loudly, he rubs his thumb against his lip. Should he call? Should he talk to the teenager once again? Going with his emotions, he dials a number that he remembers by heart.

A sleepily voice answers, "Hello."

"I see Yagami-kun was asleep." L answers.

"Yeah."

"Did Yagami-kun have pleasant dreams?"

"Somewhat."

"Somewhat?"

"I was dreaming about you. You seem to be on my mind all the damn time."

Something warm goes inside of him to hear Raito dreaming about him. As he leans his head back, he mumbles, "I dream."

"You dream what?"

"Our times together."

"They were horrible."

"Yagami-kun thinks so."

"I was chained to you."

Laughing softly, L remembers those times. It was bad and good at the same time. As he closes his eyes, he whispers, "I remember Yagami-kun having no complaints when we were together."

"You're a pervert."

"Yagami-kun enjoyed it. He enjoyed every moment of it. He enjoyed the way I would kiss his neck, the way I would slide my body down his."

"Oh god."

Chuckling softly, L loves the sound that came out of Raito's mouth. As his hand slides down his clothe body, he thinks it is the younger man's hand. Gripping at his cock, he moans, "You enjoyed running your hands over my pale body while I teased your body to madness."

"L." Raito moans.

"Are you touching yourself?"

"Yes."

"You naked?"

"Just took my boxers off."

"Hmmm, now Raito is at my mercy."

"Yes." Raito whispers breathless.

"I would pitch your nipples until they are hard while I run my tongue down your neck to them, sucking them until you begged."

"I don't beggg." Raito moans.

"Oh you would. You would scream out my name over and over until I took mercy on you and move my head lower while nipping at your sensitive skin."

"I want your mouth around my cock."

"I want to suck you dry." L responds while pulling his pants down, freeing his stiff cock from their confines. As he rubs himself, he whispers breathless, "I would suck; run my tongue around Raito's hard cock, making him squirm."

"I wouldn't squirm. I would grab your hair, running my fingers through it, wanting more of your talented mouth."

"You would squirm for me. I would start to play with your balls while sucking you."

"L."

"Raito."

"Oh god, L I'm close."

"So am I. You would watch me with half-lid eyes, taking more pleasure in it."

"YES! L! NGG!"

"Raitooooo." L moans out as he releases. Closing his eyes in bliss, he whispers breathless, "I miss you." Silence greets him but he knows the other is still on the line. He can hear Raito's harbor breathing.

After a few minutes of silence, Raito mumbles, "I… I… wa… can't do this."

Not opening his eyes to find himself alone, L replies, "I know." It hurts but he refuses to show that in his voice. The teenager can never be with him. It is far too dangerous and it would hurt the other worse.

"I'm sorry."

"Why be sorry?"

"Because of being…"

"I do not need an apologize for that." L cuts off the other. As he opens his eyes, he grabs some tissues and cleans himself up. Once again, he is alone.

"I don't need you."

"I know." L says with his heart breaking apart into little pieces. Of course, he will never show the hurt within his voice or his expression. He learned long ago how to hide everything from everyone.

"Guess this is goodbye."

"I am afraid it is."

"It would have been nice."

"A lie is just a lie, Yagami-kun. It would never hide reality." L retorts, knowing it is the truth. He once believed in a lie to only have his heart break apart on him. Pulling his pants back up, he walks to the window, staring out at the city below. Closing his eyes, refusing to let tears fall, he whispers, "It was a beautiful lie we had."

"A lie is just a lie, L." Raito repeats his words. "Goodbye, L."

"Goodbye, Yagami-kun." L responds back and hangs up. Opening his eyes to stare out at the darken city, he turns when the door is open. As his tears finally fall, he mumbles, "It would have been great to believe in a lie."

What can he say? How can he make L feel happy? With a soft look, Watari replies, "Sometimes those lies are really the truth."

Turning away from his caretaker, L retorts, "Not this one. It is time to leave."

Setting down the tickets, Watari asks, "Why did you come back here if you knew it would do no good?"

"Japan became like a home to me."

Turning to leave, Watari mutters back, "Yagami-kun became a home to you." He leaves his ward to his thoughts and tries to think of a way to make everything right again. It hurts to see his young ward in such a state.

At the Yagami household, Raito stares up at his ceiling, letting the tears fall down his face. The words he said were lies only to hurt the older man like he hurts. Pulling the blankets over his head, he whispers, "It doesn't matter. He is far away from Japan and I will never see him again." Even with those words said, there is no comfort. He feels alone like always. Closing his eyes tightly, he realizes something. He doesn't need L but he wants the detective. As more tears fall, he mumbles into the blankets, "I ruined that change."

Sitting in his small office at home, Yagami stares at the family photos. When did everything become so different? When did Raito's smile become so fake? As his phone rings, he answers, "Hello."

"Yagami-san, I need a favor." Watari's voice rings over the line.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, sadly. 

Warnings: SMEX, angst.

Pairings: L/Raito, Raito/L

Summary: L finds a new addiction. Will he be able to break it or will it be his down fall? SMEX. L/Raito, Raito/L

Notes: Thanks for the comments/reviews. Please tell me what you think. This is the last chapter for this story. Hope you enjoyed it. 

Chapter Eleven:

Surprised to hear Watari's voice again, Yagami asks, "What is it you need?" He must know about the favor first before doing it. Maybe it concerns his son.

"L is depressed and I believe Yagami-kun is as well." Watari answers honestly.

"I don't think Raito wants to see L again." Yagami retorts while staring at the pictures of his family. After talking to Watari the first time, he finally noticed how his son's eyes didn't shine when he smiled. He only saw them shine a few times and that was when Raito was with L.

"I believe they are being stubborn about their feelings. They want each other but refuse to act on their emotions. I will give an address bring Raito."

While writing down the address, Yagami responds, "I'll be there tomorrow morning." After Watari gives his thanks, the line is disconnected and he stares once again at the photos. When did his son become a great actor?

Upstairs, Raito wants the older man to call again, but that won't happen. It was in L's voice that said it was over with. As he curls his body up, he mumbles, "But I don't want it to be over." He hates to admit it but part of him needs the older man in his life. It is just too boring without L in it. As he closes his eyes, he mutters, "It's over." Those words hurt his chest more than anything and he hates feeling so weak. He falls asleep with regret.

The next day, Raito wakes up with his father saying something to him. He doesn't want to hear anything but L's voice. He goes with his father, not caring where he is heading. What is the point when it will be the same thing? As he looks out the window, he finds himself in front of a hotel. With a raised eyebrow, he asks, "Why are we here?"

"To see Ryuuzaki off."

His eyes widen to hear the older man is in Japan again. Why didn't the other tell him? Exiting the car, Raito feels the need to run far away but at the same time he wants to run to L. What does he really want? Does he want to be with L knowing it will only bring more pain to his heart? Or does he want to save his heart the pain and leave? Without realizing it, he follows his father inside.

In a hotel room, L stares out the window again, glancing down at his phone once in a while. Part of him wants to call Raito but logic tells him to not bring more sorrow to the teenager. The words Raito said to him ring hollow inside of his head and it hurts him more than he likes to admit. After all, he did risk his entire career to save Raito. Hearing the door open, he speaks, "I am almost ready."

"Ready to leave for good." A voice says behind L.

Turning around in surprise, L stares stun to see Raito staring there, looking lost. When did it become easy to read the younger man? During the Kira Case, he could never figure out what Raito was thinking. Now, he can see so many different emotions running wild in Raito's eyes. Finally figuring out who told Raito about the hotel, he asks, "Why did Yagami-kun come?"

"Dad drove me here." Raito answers without letting his emotions out in his voice. He isn't sure what he wants anymore. Can he forgive L? Can he forgive himself? Will their mistakes stop? Stepping forward, he lets his heart talk, "I miss you."

"That is not what Yagami-kun said last night." L responds in a monotone voice. Letting the other stay will hurt him in the end. His life is dangerous and their relationship will be difficult. Lips touch his and he loses his thoughts for a second. The relationship is what he wants. When did he do something he wanted? As arms wrap around his neck, he feels every emotion coming from Raito in the kiss. Pulling the younger man closer, he breaks the kiss and whispers, "You will suffer."

"I don't care."

'_You will.'_ L thinks but doesn't say it aloud. When Raito's head leans on his shoulder, he runs his fingers through light brown hair. This is what he desires and wants the most. Pulling back, he stares into Raito's eyes, seeing the desire in them. Caressing Raito's face, he mutters, "One day when I have to be gone for who knows when, you will want something more. Something I will never be able to give to you." He wants the other man to understand what risks are involved. He can never stop being L the detective even if the man L wants to live a peaceful life. Detective work is all he knows.

Staring at L, seeing no emotion at all, Raito knows what the other is trying to say. There will be a chance that L might never return during a case. There will always be a risk L dies on an assignment. He knows that L might be gone for a while unable to call him to let him know if everything is all right. Yes, he knows he will feel the sorrow and hurt. Pulling the detective toward him, kissing L with everything that is inside of him, and trying his best to speak the words that he can never say, he pulls back a little with his eyes train on L. Would their relationship really work? Maybe not and maybe it will, but he has to take the risk.

His hand rises up and caresses Raito's face. The risks are high and he knows this but he doesn't care. Leaning forward, L whispers, "You will never have control with me."

Laughing loudly, Raito holds onto the older man while responding, "One day I will."

Kissing Raito's head, inhaling Raito's scent, L holds onto the other, knowing that their time is short. Releasing his hold, seeing the confusion on Raito's face, he explains, "My flight leaves in an hour. I have to go solve a case."

"I could go…"

L states, cutting the younger man off, "Finish school, Raito. After that, we can see where it takes us."

As he touches L's face, Raito whispers, "I want one time before you leave."

Throwing away his logic for once, L takes Raito into his arms, kissing the younger man with passion. He might be gone for a while, but he will make the most of the time he has. As he walks backwards, still lip locked with Raito, he bumps into his bedroom door. Breaking the kiss, opening the door, he shoves the teenager inside.

Unable to hold back his own desire and his need for L, Raito pulls his shirt over his head, throwing it somewhere in the room. As pale hands run across his naked chest, teasing his nipples, he moans while grabbing a hold of the detective to prevent him from falling, "L."

Pushing the teenager backwards until Raito hits the bed and lays down on it; L climbs on top of the younger man, kissing him with everything he can never say. Hands find their way on his body, ripping off his clothing. After a few seconds, he stares down at Raito's naked form.

Staring up at the pale body before him, Raito whispers, "Let me, please."

Understanding the meaning behind those words, L lies down on the bed and watches Raito lean over him. Is he giving up control? Will he let the other have him? Before he could answer his questions, he feels a wet sensation over his neck down to his chest. Running his fingers through soft brown hair, he groans, "Raito."

Hearing his name be called out in such a voice makes his cock jump. Raito wants to hear more of L's unguarded voice. As he moves down L's body, he finds the older man's sensitive spots. Kissing, nipping, and biting the pale skin, he stares down at the stiffen cock. Licking his lips, he wonders if he could make L scream for him.

Wondering why the other stopped pleasing, L opens his eyes to groan in desire. Right between his legs Raito's head lies. When Raito looks up at him unsure what to do next, he grabs Raito by his hair and pushes his head down. Feeling the wet warmth around his cock, he buckles his hips and moans, "Raito."

Pleased with himself, Raito continues to bob his head up and down, sucking on L's length, enjoying the sounds L makes in the heat of passion. When his head is torn away from a juicy treat, he whimpers. One look at L, he knows why he was stopped. Climbing on top of the detective, he whispers huskily, "I don't know…" His words die when he feels greasy fingers slide into his opening. Pushing back to meet the thrust, he moans, "L… L… when did…" He looks over to find the lube lying on the bed. Throwing his head back, he screams wanting the older man inside of him, "L! Please. Just…"

"It will hurt you more."

"I don't… don't care."

Lifting Raito over his stiff cock, L watches amazed as the beautiful man slides himself down, taking him in one go. Raito's head is thrown back in pain and pleasure. As his hands run up Raito's side, he whispers breathless, "My Raito. All mine."

Unable to hold back his own needs, Raito lifts himself up and then right back down, hitting that one spot that makes him see stars in his eyes. Feeling L's hands grip his waist, he whimpers, "More."

Thrusting upwards, meeting Raito's hips, L moans out. All he can hear is those beautiful sounds coming from his lover's mouth. This is where he wants to be forever. He wants to forget about the cases of death and victims.

"L!"

"Raito!"

Pushing the younger man onto the bed, L begins to thrust hard and fast, wanting to release his tension quickly but at the same make it last forever. As he rubs his hand up and down Raito's cock, he blocks out all his mind's thoughts and listens to every whimper, moan, pant, and hitch of breath that comes from his younger lover.

Arching his back upward, feeling his eyes roll in the back of his head, Raito screams out loudly, "L!"

Feeling Raito's release over his hand and the muscles tighten around his cock, L thrusts a few more times before releasing inside the younger man. As he pulls out and flops beside the younger man, he lets his heart beat calm down before he speaks, "I missed you."

With his eyes closed, Raito mutters half-asleep, "I love you, L."

Kissing Raito's forehead, L leans forward and whispers into Raito's ear, "I love you too, my _Light_."

Raito smiles in his sleep and mutters while curling closer to the warmth, "L."

Pushing brown hair to the side, L kisses Raito's forehead again and enjoys the moment. He has no choice but to leave soon. As he stands up, he ensures the younger man is covered. He truly wishes not to leave but work calls. After he cleans himself up, dressed in his usually clothes, L writes a note and lies it beside Raito. He will ensure he comes back. For the first time, he knows what home feels like.

Later on, Raito wakes to his back sore. Uncurling himself and groaning, he finds a note lying beside him. As he glances around the room to find no one around, he feels his heart tug at him but ignores the pain. Sitting up, letting the blanket slide down his body, he stares at the note and picks it up.

_Raito (Light), _

_I know Raito must feel hurt right now. I am truly sorry but this is how it will be. Even if the man behind the L title wishes to stay, the detective L must continue his work. Solving cases is all I have every known and I cannot break that habit for no one. If Raito is willing to stay behind for periods of time, then this can work between us. I would understand if Raito does not wish for that type of relationship. Watari is still around and will relay any message if Raito has any. _

_Truly yours, _

_L Lawliet_

_PS. That name is mine; keep it close to your heart. _

As he rereads the letter again, Raito feels a smile break though. Hearing the door open, he turns his head to find Watari giving him a small smile. Making up his mind, he tells the elderly man, "Tell Lawliet, I will wait."


	12. Chapter 12

Hello readers. I wanted to let you know that I started a sequel to this story. Here is the link to the first chapter. Just take out the spaces. Hope you enjoy the new story.

http: // www . fanfiction . net / s / 5201971/1/


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